Start with a hapless French-American journalist imprisoned by the Emperor-President of a small African country. The Emperor is a cannibal, which is admittedly worrisome, but the journalist is rescued by Amnesty International and returned to the United States. He’s penniless but makes his way to Los Angeles. Through a freak connection, which as it happens is no coincidence at all, he meets a movie star who offers him on the spot a job as superintendent of an apartment building she owns in Santa Monica. And all this merely sets up one of two major strands of the plot. Which somehow evolves into a story about a Central American revolution.
A private war in Central America over tons of cocaine
Meanwhile, a political “money man” — a direct mail specialist — has flown to Denver to meet with a rich old man for advice about the upcoming 1984 presidential elections. The money man’s client, the Governor-elect of California (but not Ronald Reagan), has decided he’s ready to be President and has sent him around the country to discourage other potential candidates. But the rich old man tells him a story that sets him off on a wholly different path. A notorious former CIA agent turned heroin-smuggler has been killed in Singapore, apparently by agents of the CIA and the FBI. The story has something to do with a private war in Central America between the two agencies involving tons of cocaine and tens of millions of dollars.
Missionary Stew by Ross Thomas ★★★★★
Enter The National Investigator
Oh, and by the way, the journalist I mentioned? His estranged mother is the editor of a scandal sheet that is The National Inquirer in disguise. We’ll find out later that it’s secretly owned by an aging drug-runner in Florida.
And all this is just the beginning! Somehow, all these improbable characters are mixed up in a Central American crisis that bears uneasy similarities to the Iran-Contra Affair. (The book was published in 1983.) Missionary Stew is another one of Ross Thomas’ gorgeously convoluted tales. Call it a thriller, or satire — whatever you call it, it’s fun from beginning to end.
A word about the author
In an introduction to the Kindle edition by the screenwriter and mystery novelist Roger L. Simon, some interesting speculation about Ross Thomas comes to the fore. As Simon writes, “I often speculated that Ross Thomas had been a spy, although it was hard to think of any government good enough for his deeply moral convictions. Still, his pre-crime writing career took him all over the world, including Africa and havens of the espionage game like Bonn. He worked for NGOs with odd-sounding names and did public relations for labor union officials in sore need of a sprucing up. Those are classical spook gigs, and I’ll never know for sure if he was one. I never had the nerve to ask . . .” (Thomas died in 1995.)
After reading quite a number of Thomas’ novels, I find Simon’s speculation right on-target. The man had an extraordinary grasp of the workings of politics here and abroad and of the espionage business. But, as Simon says, we’ll never know.
For related reading
This book is one of Top 10 great popular novels. You might also be interested in My 17 favorite funny novels, of which Missionary Stew is one.
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